Lyme chicks are smokin’ hot

For many years now, there has been this underlying theme in the Lyme community. Why are all the Lyme chicks so smokin’ hot? They all look so good. They appear to be tasty morsels of feminity that attract men like moths to a flame. Until recently, nobody could figure out the why or the how.


When scratching the surface of this intriguing topic, most have come to a few basic conclusions. Women with Lyme are pampered. They get to sleep a full night and often take naps throughout the day. Add to that, the overwhelming number of vitamins they take, it’s no wonder they have long luscious hair, clear skin and perfect nails. Devoting their time to nothing more than self-care, nonstrenuous exercise and healthy eating ensure these gorgeous gals don’t have to do things like wash dishes, vacuum or work a full time job. Who has time for that when tending to a chronic, debilitating phony disease?

Last week, a group of well meaning, substantially wealthy men from around the globe released to the public that for the last 12 months they have been researching the why’s and how’s of this international phenomenon. The results are in and it is now abundantly clear that yes, Lyme chick’s are definitely hotter than your average female. The why is where it begins to get strange. Almost sci-fi movie weird. It has been revealed that within a tick, is a miniscule heat seeking hotness tracking device. As a tick moves from host to host, there is a radar system that hunts for all that is sexy. When a smokin’ hot lady passes by, this little heat seeking missile launches its attack. Not unlike a man at a club who is on his 14th shot of tequila, the tick will stop at nothing to get a piece of tasty flesh. Our only suggestion is to lock the hot girls away in a tower until the Princes of the medical world find a way to eradicate the disease and those pervy little bugs.


It’s Lymes not Lyme


How many times do I have to remind the world that I have Lymes disease not Lyme. That one little letter is the bane of my existence. Do I have only one tiny Lyme bacteria destroying my life? No. I have lots and lots of the dirty little bastards. Check yo English my none Lymes comrades. I have buckets of bacteria and the last I checked when there is a multiple of ANYTHING you add an “S” to the end of the word. Is it Limes disease? Or Lime disease? No. I am not a single piece of citrus nor am I multiple pieces of citrus. Don’t get me wrong. I love me some fresh lime in my fresh squeezed juice (organic of course), straight from my overpriced juicer but please, stop. Just stop. My days are long. My frustrations are many. Get it right or I will correct you but not before I let out a long deep sigh, roll my eyes and do my best to make you feel like a complete and total idiot for getting it all wrong.