Vitamin D for Lyme

After extensive research, it has become clear that Vitamin D is where it’s at for the Lyme ladies. Women suffering from Lyme are notoriously low on D and it is crucial to women’s health and well-being to bring the D levels back up. The next time your caregiver asks if you want D you need to respond with an assertive and resounding “YES!” Let me explain why.

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  1. Low levels of D are cause for depression. This is a well-known scientific fact. We have much to be depressed about in the Lyme world and low D levels don’t need to be one of them. Daily doses of D will ensure happier, healthier patients.  D = Happiness
  2. Proteins in D help to support the immune system. That’s right. Injections of D will help boost your immune system.
  3. With D comes my favorite – Vitamin C. I didn’t learn this until recently, when I was informed that allowing the right “caregiver” to give you D injections would also mean you get an infusion of C. It’s a two for one situation that shouldn’t be passed up as C has just as many health benefits as D; and for those of us with desires beyond feeling good, C is known to improve your skin. Who doesn’t love a healthy glow?

Good health. Improved immunities. Glowing skin. All of these are positive benefits to a chronically ill patient. So say it loud. “I want D” Say it proud. “I want D.” Ask your doctor, friends, neighbors, significant others to help you. Let them know you want D. Say it with me one more time.

“I. Want. D.”

Coconut Oil Cures Lymes

That’s right folks! You saw it here first! Coconut oils cures Lymes Disease. No need to spend thousands of dollars on doctors and medications. Simply stock up on natures miracle cure. I followed the I Has Lymes protocol and within two short weeks and 163 cases of coconut oil later, I was miraculously cured. I even lost half my body weight!!

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Here’s how it works:

  1. Buy an obscene amount of coconut oil. I suggest bringing a friend to carry the cases. That stuff is heavy!!
  2. For each meal, eat exactly one jar of coconut oil. That’s it. Nothing else. Oh, and absolutely no food…no fruit, no veggies, no meat, nadda. (That means no candy and carbs too, you dirty little cheaters!!)
  3. Twice daily, fill your bathtub with coconut oil, hop in (take your clothes off before submersing yourself) and soak for a minimum of 45 minutes. If it seems weird, rest assured, you’re doing it right.
  4. Eat more coconut oil. Just remember, no barfing. It’s important to get it in you and KEEP it in you. Choke it down, kids!
  5. And lastly, the most important part of the protocol, the piece of information absolutely needed for the much needed cure, can be found here:

For only $19.95 you can buy my e-book explaining the most important part of my Lymes cure. It’s really, truly, honestly, way too good to be true, but feel free to buy the e-book with confidence. Come on now, just gimme you’re money. You’ll regret it, but don’t let that stop you.

Disclaimer: I am not a doctor. I don’t know how to cure Lymes Disease. Nobody does. Don’t listen to me. I’m just a goofball on the internet. Save your dollars, call an LLMD and try to at least feel a little bit better.

Lyme Victim ousted for Carbs and Candy

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It was been brought to my attention earlier this afternoon, that the latest victim of Lyme Disease succumbed not to the disease itself but, in fact, to the ostracization and ousting from all online Lyme groups when her “friend” told everyone that she has been eating candy and carbs. The victim has asked to remain nameless but admitted that she had been regularly binging on bread made with gluten, pizza, cookies and large quantities of candy to help with her depression. When the Lyme Community learned of her self-sabotage they decided tough love was their only option and worked together to black list her from all online Lyme groups, deleting her from their Facebook pages and turning a photo of her into a meme to “teach her a lesson.” When I reached out to the bullied victim her only response was “Fuck Lyme. Fuck those crazy Lyme groups. If I’m going to die, I’m going to do it in my way. In a sugar coma, fat and fucking happy.” The last time anyone saw her was over 72 hours ago, picking skittles out of the bottom of her purse and rubbing raw pizza dough all over her body.